CONDOMS HURT

Condoms are sheath-shaped barrier devices, used during sex to minimize the chances of unwanted pregnancy or contracting sexually transmitted infections. There are male and female condoms; which are conveniently available in hospitals, institutions, bars (clubs), planes, ships, chemists and shops among other places. My pal from Toronto, Canada sent me a text message that got into my nerves; sending sympathetic impulses down my spine.

Normally, I don’t conduct my Medical Microbiology research work, from my audience’ queries. However, Sex escapades should be pleasurable and nourishing; truly, I have to sympathize with my pal and anyone experiencing painful or irritating sex.

Comrades!!! Today I have rolled up my sleeves, ready to get my hands dirty with the rare kind topic, “Condoms Hurt.” The world is evolving and the human population is mutating to new beings living incredible and sophisticated lives. This is vividly evident from the trending twitter hash tag # Dicktimized

In my career as a Medical Microbiologist, I would agree to some extent that condoms may hurt someone. Condoms may lead to a burning itchy sensation to the genitals; if the individual involved has latex allergy or spermicide condom allergy. Let’s have a close look on these genital pain inflictors.

Latex condom allergy:

Ladies!!! and Gentlemen!!! This form of allergy is characterized by a high-magnitude genital itchiness after using a condom; it may be Type IV allergy. This means that the condoms used have particles (allergens) that trigger the allergic reaction. However, Type 1 latex allergy involves feeling the effects from the moment the condom is put on. It is characterized by a sharp pain and irritation that attacks the genitals instantly; as it increases exponentially depending on the intensity of the penis thrusting into the vagina. Truly, Type 1 allergy is the most severe; it will cause you the excruciating pain and embarrassment to your sexually hyperactive partner.

Spermicide condom allergy:

Condom brands come with a spermicide coating for an added protection to unwanted pregnancy. However, there are people that experience allergic reactions due to the added protective layer. This form of allergy is portrayed by an itchy rash on the genitals; affected women are susceptible to yeast related infections. Cases of spermicidal allergy have a seldom occurrence, but when the allergy occurs, warm salty tears will roll down your cheeks as you writh in unstoppable pain.

Recently, I skyped with Morris Matheka; Sex Therapist, From Nairobi, Kenya. My lively interaction with him, revealed to me that there are other factors that could trigger pain and irritation from condoms. Everyone knows his or her genital size, therefore it is very important to buy condoms that fit well. However, some people prefer small sized condoms with an aim of reaping off all the pleasurable sensations that come from every hard penile thrust. Either way, it is still not comfortable no matter the aimed sky larking escapades that are often laden with deep intonated passionate moans. The correct- sized condoms should be worn properly. Memorable sex stems from the mastery of the art of practicing safe sex; hence both partners should ensure that they understand their sexual hurdles and develop prowessness to tackle them. Truly, Rome was not built in a day neither the Egyptian pyramids; therefore, for partners to become sex godesses, constant practice is the key. No one becomes a winner by quitting; breaking up, divorcing and cheating, will just be like a rolling stone that gathers no moss.

Last week on Saturday midnight, I was standing outside the Nairobi Cinema Hall, yawning and stretching lazily after a thrilling 3-D movie “The Accountant”. No sooner had I took my phone to request for an Uber cab than I saw Evelyne. I gazed at her in disbelief as she pushed an Indian guy against a wall and began to caress his broad chest like a pro. Evelyne, was my classmate back in primary school. She seemed to be negotiating something with the Indian guy but unfortunately, the guy resisted and pushed her away as he furiously shouted, “Aghh!!!... go away bitch…I don’t buy sex from prostitutes.” I rushed towards her, held her hand and gave her my silk-made hood to cover her “uncensored” boobs. I took her to a nearby Java coffee shop. We were served coffee with English muffins; Evelyne clenched the mug of coffee as shameful painful tears rolled down her tomato-like cheeks. She explained to me that her parents died of HIV /AIDS, when she was in kindergarten. In spite being an orphan from a poor background, she was sponsored to our prestigious primary school by well-wishers. In the transition of primary school to high school, adolescence had kidnapped her and gave her an attractive smashing figure. She got into a relationship with a guy who was a high school finalist. All she recalled from the relationship and fake promises from the man she claimed to love, was a hot steamy sex escapade, where they decided not to use a condom, since it seemed to make their two-end user encrypted, bonding activities, boring. Evelyne got pregnant and the boyfriend ditched her like a used condom. Her well-wishers also ditched her too like that condom. Evelyne could not go back to her poor relatives but luckily, she got a casual employment at a club in Nairobi. After she gave birth to a baby boy, she needed money but had no strength to work. She was introduced to prostitution where she earned money so easily and everything seemed to work like magic. The get-rich quick scheme robbed her off her much coveted dream of one day becoming a Certified Airline Pilot.

Comrades!!! while condoms are not perfect, they are the best to protect yourselves. I have reached the climax of my well- researched article that is purely based on condoms. Thanks for reading, see you all, next time.